The day after the day after my birthday
Having completed my 33rd year on this planet over 24 hours ago, I’m left in a thoughtful, and somewhat pensive mood.
I’m coming up on the one year anniversary of a rather painful date. Truth be told, painful anniversaries have already passed - including my own birthday. I found out after-the-fact that Carolyn’s parents’ visit (which overlapped my birthday) was for the expressed purpose of discussing our separation before I even knew about it.
Yes, you read right. Carolyn had her parents come down and visit for a week so she could talk to them about separating from me. I had no idea what was going on; these discussions obviously took place in my absence.
The irony was - nobody even wanted to do anything for my birthday. So I spent August 30, 2007 at the Duke University library doing some reading. I remember thinking to myself, “wow, this is a crappy way to spend a birthday” - I had no idea that this was the tip of the iceberg.
The whopper, of course, will be September 11 - the actual anniversary of when she “dropped the bomb” on me. I still feel its wake every day, and I still lay awake in bed wondering exactly what went wrong, and whether we’ve passed the point of no return.
I’m also wondering if this is the sort of person I want to be with - if it is reconcilable. Time is about the only thing in a situation like this that brings clarity, although I’d hardly claim to have 20/20 vision right now.
There’s a lot of days when I’d like to take Carolyn, shake her by the shoulders and exorcise the alien that has possessed my wife’s body. But I’m not sure if that will happen, and I’m starting to feel rather ambivalent about the disposition of this marriage.
And that, in itself, is a sad space to be in.
Happy birthday, Mike. And thank you, Carolyn, for spoiling two birthdays in a row.
You should have told me. I would have sang to you.
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo…
You smell like a monkey, and you look like one toooooooooo!
Your happiness is NOT dependant on Carolyn. Get off your pity pot because you are missing your life.
Love you!
Happy Belated Birthday Mike. I’ll be 33 in October. But that doesn’t matter.
I’m sorry your wife ruined two birthdays. The first one was most definitely ruined by her. This one, a few days ago, YOU let her ruin. Don’t give her that power. She doesn’t deserve it.
I don’t know Carolyn but by knowing you I would say that it is her loss. There are plenty of women who wonder if men like you even exist. I certainly hope you find someone who can appreciate and value you. I’m coming up on my third anniversary and can tell you that there are plenty of great people out there looking for a quality relationship. Getting past the aftershocks is pretty tough and takes time. I’ve been there and a bruised ego always hurts. Let me know about the writing group. ENG 389 in fantastic and I am responsible for four new poems per week. Wyteria is in my class. Lets talk soon.
Sherry
How rude of me…happy birthday!
hey. you don’t know me but I just commented after you on the dog-related post on 30 Threads. Happy Birthday and hang in there.
I’m behind on my blog reading; sorry about the late comment. I have to say I am surprised that there is even any question about her being the type of person you want to be with or that it might be reconcilable. After all you have been through, it seems doubtful that there could ever be any kind of trust in the relationship, and I really don’t think that you (truly deep down in your heart) want to be with someone that treats you with such disregard.
I also agree with what Angel said, that you let her ruin this year’s birthday. Lets hope this is the last one she will have an effect on.