Robert Pirsig hit the nail on the head. There are two types of riders: the romantics and the classics. Riding a scooter almost entirely forces a person into the “classics” category; any romance associated with scooters is surely not rooted in cutting-edge engineering, since most scooters are the motorcycle equivalent of a John Deere Model D.
That said, I’m learning a lot about human psychology from the seat of my little Honda Spree.
Drivers can be lumped into three rough categories. The most fun to bicker about are the arrogant pricks. They come in both genders, and usually compensate for some physical or intellectual inadequacy with a large vehicle (although a large vehicle alone does not put a person in this category). The sad part about this group is that they try; they try to multi-task, they try to look the part, and they simply don’t pull it off. Life at 30 mph gives the scooter driver plenty of time to observe the details, and the arrogant prick is always a dead giveaway. For the scooter rider, you’re best to simply avoid these people; they’re too busy on the cellular phones to notice that they ran you over.
The second category is the worrier. These drivers have a scowl welded to their faces, and they usually position their seat too close to the steering wheel (notice the way their forearms drape over the steering wheel - begging to be snapped in half when the airbag deploys). The problem with worriers is that they’re unpredictable; they’ve got one foot on the brake and the other foot on the gas, and you’re never sure which foot will win. The best thing a scooter rider can do with the worrier is to remain steadfast and deliberate, because two indecisive drivers is a great recipe for disaster.
The third category is, of course, the sympathizer. Don’t be fooled - they don’t want to follow you at 30 mph any more than you want to hold up traffic at 30 mph, and they’ll probably pass you the first safe chance they get - but they also won’t flip you the bird (a la arrogant prick), and they won’t alternate between tailgating and riding their brakes (a la worrier). If you’re lucky, a sympathizer may even give you a thumbs-up or a knowing nod of respect.
Every trip on the scooter is a crap-shoot. I was lucky to be followed by a few sympathizers down Leesville Road this morning; later in the same commute I had an arrogant prick in a Mini and an arrogant prick in a Civic pass me on the wrong side. It’s not a surprise that both were on their phones. One gave me an entirely indignant glare when I gave a conspicuous blast of the (rather loud) horn; I saw her glare and raised with one middle-finger gesture at the next stoplight.
The sad part is that this isn’t limited to scooters. I’ve been a motorcyclist for over 20 years and a licensed automobile driver for 17 years, and I could say the same thing when I’m on my full-size motorcycle or in my car.
The difference? Scooters force you into a defensive mode of driving because you don’t have the option to be aggressive. A nasty knot of traffic (usually comprised of two or three worriers with an arrogant prick thrown in for fun) is a distant memory with a single snap of the throttle on the Ducati; on the scooter, it’s only a distant memory if they’re going under 10 mph and I’ve got the equivalent of the Bonneville Salt Flats to get my scooter wound up to speed again.
Comments 1
I can slightly relate from trying to be a good “Durham Pace Car” driver in my hybrid. A couple of arrogant pricks tailgating a little too much or passing me on the right, and I turn into an anti-Pace Car real quickly. Even in my 0-60-in-14-seconds-hybrid, I can be a little aggressive. Like you said, you don’t have that options. You must have excellent anger management skills. I’ll give a thumbs up the next time I’m near a scooter.
Posted 21 Aug 2008 at 12:23 am ¶Post a Comment