In memory of Jane Creba
Sometimes, the strangest things will take you back to another place, in another time. It was the Monday after Christmas. I was sitting at my computer desk, and noticed a little bit of fuzz under my computer. This won’t seem strange to anyone who owns a computer, but when I shifted the monitor slightly to remove said fuzz, I found something else.
A transit token.
This is the common currency of any commuter from Toronto; literally, the ticket to ride any of the city’s busses, streetcars or subways. We always keep a small stock of these for our semi-regular trips to Toronto. Driving around the city is an exercise in futility, and it’s a lot more fun to “ride the rail”.
I sat back that afternoon, fingering the little aluminum token, and took a mental trip back to Toronto. We last visited the city in March of 2005, to attend a friend’s wedding. Even then - after having left the city over five years prior - I was still my same incorrigible self, traversing the city from one end to the other, with my trademark Nikon F2 around my neck, and a pocket full of tokens. I would start somewhere in High Park, and immediately head into the heart of the city: Yonge and Queen.
For anyone who hasn’t been to Yonge and Queen, it’s simply impossible to describe. A melee of activity 24 hours a day. Skyscrapers and century-old buildings side-by-side. Trendy new-age stores next to the Hudson Bay Company - one of the aging pillars of Canadian commerce, dating back to the 1600’s. I would walk through the Eaton’s Center, as I had done thousands of times in my youth, and then head north along Yonge Street to Bloor Street.
As I said before, I have done this walk a thousand times. I have stopped in virtually every store along the way, and find myself surrounded by things bought on this very street: jeans from Roots. A belt from The Leather Man. A Swatch watch from some little electronics boutique near Sam the Record Man. Every Torontonian reading this will understand the connection to Yonge street.
I enjoyed my little trip down memory lane, and put the token back on my desk. Little did I know that one of my own; a fellow Torontonian, had been murdered in those few short transcendental moments. A life taken in a part of the city I can close my eyes and imagine a hundred times over.
The details were sketchy at first; it quickly grew into anyone’s worst nightmare. The day after Christmas. Guns. A 15 year old girl, so full of promise. Gangs. I visibly shook when I read the unfolding story on the CBC website, and even told myself that this couldn’t be happening. It was a big, horrible mistake.
It was indeed a big, horrible mistake, and Toronto has its newest face because of it: Jane Creba. I won’t pretend to have known Jane, but we shared too much to not feel some connection. The same transit token is still sitting on my desk, where I left it on Monday. Now, I look at it and imagine a broken-hearted family trying despirately to understand how this could happen in a city where these things simply don’t happen. I imagine her friends and classmates feeling a spectrum of emotions too numerous to list, and I imagine a frightened and very lonely city wondering where to turn to. What to do.
What to do.
I look at the photos of Jane, and wonder what she would want us to do. With the bubbly optimism that only a 15 year old girl could muster, I imagine that she would want us to pick up our chins, brush ourselves off, and get on with it. Jane’s friends have told us about how she pushed them to do better, and I would like to believe that her legacy to us is just that; to strengthen our resolve as a community of human beings, and to make a better tomorrow.
To Bruce and Virginia, her parents: I have tears in my eyes thinking about what you must be going through right now. I can only hope that in the days to come, you find some comfort knowing that we all share in your pain and loss.
To Jane’s brother and sister, Alison and Elliot: my sister, only a few years older than your sister, was at the Eaton’s Center that Monday afternoon. I find it incomprehensible to imagine that it could just as easily have been her. Know that your sister has touched people in ways you may never know, and that her legacy will be a strong one. You have every reason to be proud of her.
To the rest of my fair city: let us all take a moment to pause, and give reflection to the multitude of issues that will unfold in the weeks and months ahead. There will be trying times for us all, and everyone - from the emergency personnel who responded first, to our courts of law - will need to pause regularly and remember that everything we do will become a part of our legacy to Jane. Let us act with dignity and courage, and have the strength to forgive and to heal. Let us resist the urge to place blame, to point fingers, and to take out our anger on others, and let us end the cycle of violence with a clear and open mind.
We owe her and her family nothing less.
Rest in peace, my friend.
PS - I have added a trackback to the blog of one of her many friends. Perhaps, one of them will let me know if her family decides to setup some sort of scholarship or trust in her name. I would be honoured to make a donation.
Hi, Just visiting
Very well said. I had the exact feelings when we were at the mall yesterday. May God rest her soul in peace.
Hey, that was an excellent post. The horrible news took me by surprise, as I was enjoying your trip down memory lane, and thinking about how simple objects can trigger those sorts of memories. My heart goes out to those parents, and to all parents who have to live through the loss of a child. I can’t imagine anything worse.
Well, I haven’t been notified about any scholarships. It would be kinda and generous of you to do so. Jane was an athlete, perhaps, you would like to talk to the staff of Riverdale Collegiate about it.
I read the news about this latest shooting in the Toronto Star on-line version. Such a waste, I don’t understand where this total disregard for life has come from. Its still the best city on the planet IMO. What really angers me, besides the senselessness of the crime, (as is all gun related crime) but that the US media, CNN in particular, has apparently been warning their viewers to stay away from Toronto! They mention the recent shooting, plus the recent rise in gun crime in Toronto being almost double historical crime rates…what they fail to mention of course is that the crime rate in Toronto is still less than one quarter what it is in most cities of the same size in the US. ugh… The world is an unsafe place, we all need to band together to make it better.
Very well-said indeed. I have been so upset and angry since Monday by the sheer insane stupidity of this shooting. Its a radical solution but I firmly believe that if you legalised drugs you would instantly eradicate 80% of criminal activity. All of these ‘beefs’ between ‘gangs’ revolve around ‘turf’ : which basically means areas in which one ‘gang’ runs the drug-traffic in that area. By legalising these people would no longer exist and crime would drop spectacularly. Also the govt. could use the funds made for programmes to help youth, medical, socila services etc. By keeping drugs illegal you keep all of these criminals going and fighting each other and poor, poor innocents like Jane Creba are stolen from us. We need to ditch the hypocrasy and aqrchaic tabboo’s and start facing our problems realistically. Jane- we will all forever miss you in this city but hopefully a little-bit of your spirit will live on in all of us. My deepest sympathies and thoughts are with all of your family and friends. RIP angel.
Mike: As another “former” Torontonian (now living in Rochester, NY), I have felt the same range of emotions as you. I saw the new on Newsworld (via ExpressVu), and am sickened. I think the strongest of the emotions is anger … inside I am screaming “You will NOT do this to my city!” My son is in his 4th year at U of T, and lives close by, and I go to T.O. as often as I can, sometimes just to be back there. I hope this event, as tragic and senseless as it is, will catalyze the citizenry to force every level of government and NGOs to take serious action to stop the blight of gangs and guns before it metastasizes further.
Nice write up there… Thanks for the lengthy comment on my cars!! I agree 150% about the Escape. It’s built on a Contour frame… Happy New Year!
What a terrible thing to have happened to her and her family and friends. You told it well, brought the point straight home.
I still consider Toronto ‘My City’. Born and raised there, now living about 2.5 hours west, however all our family is still there. I was in Toronto from Sunday to Wednesday, and didn’t hear about this until Tuesday, when driving, we saw a Toronto Sun news stand with the headline reading “Blood Bath”. I was totally shocked at the headline… and then to hear about the horror, while meanwhile I was a mear few blocks away, enjoying Christmas with my family at my brother’s condo in the heart of downtown Toronto. It’s been many years since I last hopped on the subway from Scarborough to spend a fun filled Saturday walking up and down Yonge, but those memories will never fade. Toronto, though a scarier place to live now then it was when I was growing up (20 years ago), is still a totally amazing city and one that every person should experience!! Thanks for writing this!
Hello Toronto, In case you missed it, this is YOUR call to action to make Toronto’s communities safer. Who: You and every Torontonian, and our friends What: March & Rally to Bring back the peace, featuring speakers & local artists Where: College & Yonge Sts. When: Saturday January 7, 2006 @ 1:00PM Why: In 2005 there were 52 shooting deaths in Toronto. Unfortunately, it took until the 52nd gun-related murder for our political leaders to feel the sense of urgency that communities have felt for years. The Toronto Youth Cabinet wants to ensure that the 52 people who were murdered in 2005, as well as those before them, have not died in vain. To ensure that change is made, we want to see our political leaders make the investments in us and our communities that will save lives. But judging by their actions — or inaction, as the case may be — politicians need the confidence that only the people of Toronto can give them to create the change that has been called for sporadically from every corner of the city. This is why we, the youth of Toronto, want everyone to join us as we demonstrate to every decision-maker that impacts Toronto that we will settle for nothing less than decisive action that supports every community in our city. If you have any questions, please contact Adam, Director of Council Relations for the Toronto Youth Cabinet at council@torontoyouth.com or 416-392-3586 ——————————————————————————–
My condolences to her family.
hey
my name is gabrielle. i’m 12 years old.i go to school with jane’s little brother eliott. i decided to research her so that i could do anything and everythin possible to help eliott recover. i’ve only known him for a month, but on the 1st day o school i noticed that the death of his sister just shattered him. this is a true story. and i hope that this kind of stuf will stop and that if any o you out there know someone who has passed away or you to please help their damily cope with it.
i really wish eliott and his afmily the best
love:Gabrielle Terry