February 26th, 2008
Immunizataion
To go to school I have to get a copy of my immunization records. Oh joy, oh bliss.
Many of my immunizations took place when I was in public school. We had to queue in long lines and wait for an unsympathetic school nurse who would jab us with hypodermic needles about three feet long and four inches in diameter (“It won’t hurt a bit!”). This was done for our protection, even though a few kids would bleed to death every year.
My first call was to the Scarborough Board of Education. But wait – the Scarborough Board of Education no longer exists. It was swallowed up into the Toronto District School Board. And what are the chances that the records were actually transferred properly?
Not to worry, though. It only took a few phone calls to find out that these records are actually maintained by the city – not the school board. Great, I’m thinking! I get to talk to more government people!
A call to the city turned up nothing. Despite having lived there for 9 years, they don’t have any record of me. But that could be because we moved to another region after my grade 6 year – and my records were likely transferred.
And the chances of these records actually having been transferred?
I call the Durham Region Office of Jabbing Kids with Long Needles and left a message (their answering machine indicated that the queue was about four days long). Amazingly, I got a call back this morning indicating that they have no records going back “that far”; the oldest records they have are for people born in 1977 (I was born in the glorious year of 1975).
She suggested I call my family doctor. The same overworked doctor that may as well not have a telephone, since the chances of it being answered are the same as tossing a quarter into a beer bottle (and if you’re thinking that’s impossible, since a quarter is larger than the neck of a beer bottle – then you’re right. And those are precisely the chances of my call getting answered).
I made an appointment with my family doctor for a physical this Thursday, and I’ll raise the issue of immunizations as tacitly as possible.
And hopefully he doesn’t use three-foot-long horse needles.
I would have no clue how to obtain my shot records. Thankfully I didn’t need them when I started college.
Just have your doctor draw some blood for titres, you shouldn’t need to get the individual shots again if you’ve already had them. Maybe just update your tetanus/diptheria booster if you had it more than 10 years ago.
That’s all I had to do for immigration.