Chadworthy. It’s a term I didn’t know anything about until I met Melanie over at the plaid toaster. Apparently, chadworthy is the new term that means a hot guy. And not just hot - maybe even the kind of guy you want to go out with, and perhaps marry.

Zoom ahead to this week. I mentioned in a chat to Mel that someone had invited me to a “speed dating” party, and I commented that it was ridiculous that I should be able to size up a date in only 5 minutes. Mel - sweet, but deluded thing that she is - noted that women can tell if a guy is chadworthy in 5 minutes with ease.

Now don’t get me wrong - I can tell if a girl is good looking in about four nanoseconds (three of which are spent allowing my slightly near-sighted eyes to focus sharply on her ass face boobs body).

But to know if she’s chadworthy (or whatever the female equivalent is)? That, my friends, takes time. In fact, it takes at least the following:

• First meeting, in which it’s determined that she has good boobs ass face physical attributes.
• Exchange of phone numbers / email addresses / instant messaging aliases / GPS coordinates, to continue the mutual determination of chadworthyness.
• Late-night phone calls, during which you think you think you get to know this person. Now you have some facts to attach to the boobs face ass mental image you have of this person.
• Dating. This is where people put on their best behavior in order to get laid.
• Getting to know the real person. This is where you realize that they do burp and fart and poop and smell bad in the morning and sometimes don’t brush their teeth and leave the toilet seat up and leave dishes laying on the counter and all sorts of other distinctly non-chadworthy details.
• This post contains the most instances of the words ass and boobs. More quality family entertainment brought to you by the absent.canadian

Anyways, you get the idea. Chadworthyness, or the lack thereof can take days, or even weeks to come out. Even if we go by the commonly-accepted guideline that one must date three times before doing the hoochy-poochy, that suggests that it will be at least a week before his unchadworthy side is revealed.

Now, what I’d like you to do is to head over to the plaid toaster and set her straight. Mel is a nice girl and deserves the traffic, but she also needs to be corrected. Poor thing, riddled with teenagers and all, is having a moment of impaired judgment and dim insight, and it’s our job to show her the light.

4 comments
Posted in Blog
Written on Thu, 06 December 2007 at 2:02 pm
Tags: chadworthy, dating, singles
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